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Tuesday, June 19, 2018

A Day in The Life (With a Toddler) (Send Help).

Back when I asked for topics anyone would like to see me write about, someone suggested I write a "day in the life" post. Now, while I will eventually write one of those, the day I got that suggestion just so happened to be the most INSANE day with Jack, so I couldn't miss the chance to write a funny one first. 

Now, while I will admit that all of these things did not happen on the same day, I DO want to point out they are all things that have absolutely happened recently. Also, I love being a mom. This is supposed to be funny. If you're going to be mean, leave me alone. Bye. 

4:00 AM || Wake up to the fridge alarm going off. I'm the only adult home, so this is slightly alarming (haha, get it?) I go into the kitchen to see Jack sitting amongst a graveyard of Reece's cup wrappers. He ate EIGHTEEN Reese's cups. E I G H T E E N. Clean things up, get him back to sleep, go back to bed. 

6:00 AM || Wake up to gagging noises. Realize the childproof handle on the pantry must not really be childproof, because Jack is currently emptying out what was a brand new jar of peanut butter. Wake all the way up just in time for him to throw that peanut butter up all over the bed and also on me. Jump out of the peanut butter filled bed, give him a bath, clean the carpet, and take a shower before a single cup of coffee is had. 

9:20 AM || Chase him around the house while he laughs hysterically, because for the third time today, he's gotten butt-naked minutes after I got him all the way dressed. Give up. We are a nudist home now. This is life.

10:00 AM || Get Jack settled in the den with a movie so I can conference into weekly staff meeting. Try my best to selectively hit "mute" so maybe the whole staff doesn't hear Jack banging on the locked door and sobbing like I just left him out in the desert to fend for himself.

10:03 AM || The screaming stops. Unmute when I'm asked a question, just in time for the wailing to pick back up. Say, "Oh no thank you, I'm fine!" When asked if I need to step away for a minute.
10:06 AM || Give up on the selective muting. All I'm doing is muting my answers. Stare deadpanned into the camera, daring anyone to say anything about the clearly distraught child on the other side of that door. 

11:15 AM || The sun is out. Take Jack outside to let him run some energy out / also work on my tan. Close eyes on hammock just in time to be startled by a male voice saying, "Um, is this yours?" Realize it's your neighbor on the other side of the fence, holding up a toy. Apologize. He holds up another toy. Apologize again as he proceeds to toss a pile of Jack's toys back into your yard. So Jack throws his toys over the fence now, that's fun.

1:45 PM || Realize Jack can now get on the counters. Find him standing on the stove, microwaving his milk. 

1:47 PM || While cleaning up from his countertop expedition, realize something smells bad. Like, poop bad. Check his diaper. It's clean. Chalk it up to bad gas and keep cleaning. 

1:49 PM || No, really. What is that smell? 


1:59 PM || Get allllll the cleaners out, because this sink has to be SANITIZED OKAY. 

2:13 PM || Finish cleaning just in time to catch Jack pouring window cleaner into the dog's bowl. Attempted murder? Perhaps. This is why I buy nontoxic cleaners. 

4:12 PM || Hear a man's voice. Even though my phone is password protected, somehow Jack has facetimed my coworker. 

6:34 PM || While I'm making Jack dinner, Jack is also making himself dinner. In the dog's bowl. He's poured a gallon of milk into Gatsby's food bowl and is trying to feed it to him with a spoon, like cereal. Gatsby is unappreciative, probably due to the earlier attempt on his life.

9:32 PM || He falls asleep, I put him to bed. I'd planned on tackling my to-do list once he fell asleep, but it's not happening. I last about ten minutes before I also collapse into bed. 

10:14 PM || Wake up to a hand on my face. For the first time, Jack's figured out that he can come get in bed with me at night.  Think, oh my gosh, I am literally with him 24/7 now. There is nothing more exhausting than this in the whole freaking world.  

10:22 PM || He rolls over, pats my head, and says, "mama." Think oh my gosh, there is nothing better than this in the whole freaking world. 

Parenthood is weird, y'all. 

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Friday, June 15, 2018

What True Friendship Looks Like Right Now.

Life is made up of lots of different seasons we travel through. As our seasons change, what true friendship looks like changes. Some seasons call for space, some seasons call for an almost-roommate of a friend. Some seasons need extra support, some seasons need more lightheartedness. Some seasons need spontaneity, some need stability. 

I am extremely, extremely blessed to have some true friends in this season of my life. 

Right now, this is what true friendship looks like: 

It looks like acting like me inviting you over is the most fun thing you could have imagined for a Friday night (I know it's not) because I'm solo-parenting and couldn't get a babysitter. It's pretending you don't notice how messy my house is, and then rolling your eyes and saying you don't care when I point it out. 

It's facetime dates. Lots of those. It's understanding that sometimes you just have to blow my phone up before I'll call you back. It's lots of missed calls and texts and not getting too mad when I take twelve business days to respond to your text. 

It's understanding that no matter how much I love the idea of being spontaneous, this season of life takes so much planning. It's still inviting me to things you know I probably won't be able to swing because you don't want to leave me out, and it's trying to plan things in advance so I can secure childcare. 

It's reminding me of how important my dreams are, and nudging me to follow them when I stall or say I'm too busy. 

It's listening to me talk about how I want to be healthier and then not judging me when all I want for dinner is Publix fried chicken. 

It's checking in when I go a little quiet. It's taco bell runs and juice cleanses. It's saying "I'm here for you." It's pool days and Netflix nights. It's sticking it out through the ups and downs, because that's life. It's deep and it's fun. 

It's such a gift. 

What does true friendship look right now in this stage of your life? 
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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Amazon Favorites Lately

Does anybody else remember when we used Amazon primarily to buy books? Textbooks, mostly? What did we even do? Where did we even buy our things? 

I'm just going to level with you. I love shopping. I love malls and Marshall's and Ross and Ulta and all of it. However, Jack has entered a very non-shopping-friendly stage if it's just him and I. So being able to get the things I want online is pretty magical. What a time to be alive, you know?

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay. I honestly think this is the best thing you can buy on Amazon. I've raved about it before, so I won't go into it now, but it's cheap, it works, and it lasts forever. I'll always have a jar of this.

This bikini. At under $15 for a top and a bottom, I'm a fan. It's cute, true to size, and I'll be wearing it all year. Also, side note: For some reason the link now says "thong bikini" in the description?? I assure you, it is not. 

This foam roller. It's five dollars and makes ending a workout way more enjoyable because it ensures I can actually move my body the next day.

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion. Worth every single bit of the hype. Dab a little bit of this on any upcoming breakouts before you go to sleep, wake up to them almost gone. It's magical. 

Natural Calm Magnesium Supplement. A glass of this before bed and I sleep so much better. 

What's your favorite thing you've bought on Amazon lately?

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Monday, June 11, 2018

Take a Risk, You Deserve It.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine found a listing for what was very close to her dream job. She was under qualified, and she wasn't really looking for a job, but still. Her dream job. 

We talked for days about whether she was going to apply or not. Could it hurt to just try? Wouldn't it be embarrassing when they saw she wasn't exactly the type of candidate they were looking for? But wouldn't she regret letting this opportunity pass without trying? 

After a few days of talking about all the reasons it was a bad idea, she went for it. She cleaned up her resume, wrote a cover letter, and put herself out there. 

Within an hour (I'm not kidding - a single hour), they'd emailed her back and let her know her qualifications weren't enough for the job. 

She took a risk. She wasn't successful. But it was still worth it.

Because you know what? Her resume is updated. She realized she was excited about the possibility of a new job. She now knows rejection doesn't kill her.  And the next time she comes across a risk worth taking, it'll be easier. 

Taking a risk doesn't have to pan out to be worth it. 

Go to a new workout class that you very well may embarrass yourself in. Or, that you very well may fall in love with. 

Ask someone on a date. Really, do it. They might say no, or you might have the best night of your life.

Apply for that job. You may be underqualified, or you may land yourself a dream job. 

If nothing else - even if you fail spectacularly and nothing good ever comes from it - it's a reminder that you can take risks. That you're alive and moving forward and not stagnant. 

 Take a risk. You deserve it. 
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Friday, June 8, 2018

Be Happy in This Moment, For This Moment is Your Life.

Be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life. 

I saw this on a sign when I was visiting a friend in another city in October. We were spending the day laughing and shopping and when I saw it, I thought about how happy I felt in that moment. I snapped a picture of it and saved it to my favorites, because I wanted to remember it. 

I keep it saved in my favorites, because it's so true. And my moments aren't always laughing and shopping and having the best day with old friends. But they're still making up my life. What is life but a bunch of moments all strung together? 

Be happy in the hard moments, because they're making up your life. 

Be happy in the good moments, because they're making up your life.

Be happy in the mundane moments, because they're making up your life. 

Sometimes (lots of times) a day ends and I fall into bed, so exhausted, and think, what even was today? And when I think back over the day, it was a lot of stressful moments and messy moments and seemingly unspecial moments. But you know what? Those moments made up my day, and those days make up my life, and they're worth being happy in, no matter how messy or unspecial they may seem, because my life is worth being happy in. 

Some moments happiness comes right to you without you even making an effort, and some moments require a whole heck of a lot of effort to find a smidge of happiness. 

That effort is worth it. 

Because this is your life. 

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that things have to be perfect to be happy. Don't get so lost in curated Instagram feeds and magazine covers to think that if your moments aren't bright and colorful and perfectly posed that they aren't worth enjoying. They're worth enjoying because they make up your life, and your life is worth being happy over. 

Be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life. 
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Wednesday, June 6, 2018

High-Wasited Shorts Round-Up.

Me and high-waisted shorts are having quite the love affair at the moment. 

Unfortunately (I mean, not really unfortunately, because, money), I do most of my shopping secondhand (Sandy's is LIFE) or on sale, and those things are nearly impossible to provide links for.

So I thought I'd do the next best thing and do a round-up of shorts that I would 100% wear, if I don't already own them. With the exception of the first pair, they're all under $30, and if you're anything like me, you'll wear them all summer (ahem, year) long.

If you click on the individual pictures, it'll take you to the link for those shorts and make all your high-waisted shorts dreams come true (Or something like that, anyway).

Click away! Happy shopping, friends! 

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Monday, June 4, 2018

Books I Read in May and Whether or Not You Should Read Them.

The Secrets She Keeps by Michael Robotham

Plot: "In the bestselling tradition of The Girl on the Train and In a Dark, Dark Wood, from the internationally bestselling author whom Stephen King called “an absolute master” of the psychological thriller, comes a riveting suspense novel about the unlikely friendship between two pregnant women that asks: how far would you go to create the perfect family?

Agatha is pregnant and works part-time stocking shelves at a grocery store in a ritzy London suburb, counting down the days until her baby is due. As the hours of her shifts creep by in increasing discomfort, the one thing she looks forward to at work is catching a glimpse of Meghan, the effortlessly chic customer whose elegant lifestyle dazzles her. Meghan has it all: two perfect children, a handsome husband, a happy marriage, a stylish group of friends, and she writes perfectly droll confessional posts on her popular parenting blog—posts that Agatha reads with devotion each night as she waits for her absent boyfriend, the father of her baby, to maybe return her calls.

When Agatha learns that Meghan is pregnant again, and that their due dates fall within the same month, she finally musters up the courage to speak to her, thrilled that they now have the ordeal of childbearing in common. Little does Meghan know that the mundane exchange she has with a grocery store employee during a hurried afternoon shopping trip is about to change the course of her not-so-perfect life forever…

With its brilliant rendering of the secrets some women hold close and a shocking act that cannot be undone, The Secrets She Keeps delivers a dark and twisted page-turner that is absolutely impossible to put down." -via Goodreads

Favorite quote: “We need the darkness to appreciate the light, and the bumps along the road to stop us falling asleep at the wheel.” 

My thoughts: I loved this book. You find out the twist pretty early on, which was different than most thriller books I've read recently, and I liked it because it shaped the rest of the story. It wasn't a, "Okay I've got to solve what's going on" kind of book, it was a, "Oh my gosh, I know what's going on, how is this going to play out?!" kind of book.

Should you read it? Yes!

Woman No. 17 by Edan Lepucki

Plot: "High in the Hollywood Hills, writer Lady Daniels has decided to take a break from her husband. Left alone with her children, she’s going to need a hand taking care of her young son if she’s ever going to finish her memoir. In response to a Craigslist ad, S arrives, a magnetic young artist who will live in the secluded guest house out back, care for Lady’s toddler, Devin, and keep a watchful eye on her older, teenage son, Seth. S performs her day job beautifully, quickly drawing the entire family into her orbit, and becoming a confidante for Lady. 

But in the heat of the summer, S’s connection to Lady’s older son takes a disturbing, and possibly destructive, turn. And as Lady and S move closer to one another, the glossy veneer of Lady’s privileged life begins to crack, threatening to expose old secrets that she has been keeping from her family. Meanwhile, S is protecting secrets of her own, about her real motivation for taking the job. S and Lady are both playing a careful game, and every move they make endangers the things they hold most dear. 

Darkly comic, twisty and tense, this mesmerizing new novel defies expectation and proves Edan Lepucki to be one of the most talented and exciting voices of her generation." -via Goodreads

Favorite quote: “You think you know how a story begins, or how it's going to turn out, especially when it's your own. You don't.” 

My thoughts: This was an incredibly unique book...but I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. It told the story of several complex relationships, and instead of focusing on a real plot, focused on the characters. I was sad when it was over, not because I liked it, necessarily, but because I wanted more to happen with the characters I'd learned so much about. Overall, not my favorite. 

Should you read it? Probably not.
The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen 

Plot: "A novel of suspense that explores the complexities of marriage and the dangerous truths we ignore in the name of love.
When you read this book, you will make many assumptions.
You will assume you are reading about a jealous wife and her obsession with her replacement.
You will assume you are reading about a woman about to enter a new marriage with the man she loves.
You will assume the first wife was a disaster and that the husband was well rid of her.
You will assume you know the motives, the history, the anatomy of the relationships.
Assume nothing." -via Goodreads
Favorite quote: "I was happy, I think, but I wonder now if my memory is playing tricks on me. If it is giving me the gift of an illusion. We all layer them over our remembrances; the filters through which we want to see our lives."

My thoughts: Oh my gosh. I have so many things I want to say, but since I am a good friend who doesn't want to spoil this book for you, I will not say them. But read this boooook!  It's been awhile since a book made me stop and realize I had not a clue what was happening. I LOVE when that happens. 

Should you read it? YES! Like, now. 

What books have you read lately?
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