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Friday, September 22, 2017

Finding Childcare: A Step-by-Step Horror Story.

Step 1: Wait entirely too long to admit that yes, you probably do need some childcare help. It's probably not the best thing for your mental health to never not be taking care of a toddler, and your job is probably going to fire you if your kid doesn't stop banging on the office door during staff meetings. Start looking for part-time daycares.

Step 2: Realize that no one gives any info out over the phone. If you want to know the secrets (like, how much does this cost?) you're gonna have to tour these places. Set up some tours. 

Step 3: Dress in your most "Professional mom with v cool toddler you'd be lucky to have" outfit. Text picture to no less than three people to get approval. 

Step 4: Show up for daycare tour. Realize very quickly that this is maybe not the best place when you see there are garbage bags lining the hall, leaking onto the floor. When the director turns and screams down the hall for an employee to clean it up, and the employee screams back that she will not be touching that sh*t, you know this is not the place for you. 

Step 5: Since you are polite, decide to finish the tour. This is a mistake. When you open the classroom door, a cockroach falls off of the door and onto your face. You scream, brush it onto the floor, and look to the daycare director for some sort of reassurance. Instead, she watches as it crawls over to a sleeping toddler, right onto his blanket, and says, "Oh. That's gross." When she asks if you're interested in full time or part time, you pause, trying to think of a nice way to say, "I just watched you let a roach crawl onto a toddler, so no thank you." But you take too long, and she snaps her fingers in your face and says, "I'm not a f*cking mind reader. Speak up." So you feel like the polite explanation is no longer needed. BYE. 

Step 6: Make more tour appointments. Find the perfect daycare. Cry in your car when you find out they don't offer part-time. 

Step 7: Decide to try for a nanny. You join and are pleased by how many applications immediately come in. 

Step 8: Skip from pleased to overwhelmed. 

Step 9: Your first interview! Oh, it's bad. So bad. 

You: I see you're CPR certified! That's great! 

Her: Oh, I'm actually not. I just say that to get interviews. 

Step 10: Repeat a few times. A few notables: The girl who "really can't tell you" what hours she would be able to work, the girl who would definitely not be okay watching your kid if you were in the house, and the girl who just refuses to leave after the interview is over. 

Step 11: Fall in LOVE with a nanny. Who, of course, charges almost double what you want to pay. Try to negotiate. Fail. Tell yourself it's worth it and you're going to hire her. Decide to look her up on social media on a whim. 

Step 12: Panic. 

Step 13: Remind yourself not to judge. 


Step 15: The morning after a horrible natural disaster, when the entire city is without power, receive text from said-nanny. Hope you survived the hurricane! Still wanna hire me or nah? 

OR, you could skip steps 1-15 and go straight for Step 16: Pour yourself a glass of wine and cry about it. 
PS: Since writing this, I have found the BEST nanny. She is wonderful and Jack loves her. So don't stay stuck on step 16 for toooooo long. 
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Thursday, September 21, 2017

3 Things You Need to Know About: Beauty Edition.

1) Nip + Fab No Needles Serum. Oh my gosh, this is incredible. A little backstory: My skin has basically been going downhill since May. I breakout anytime I get stressed. I started working out to help with the stress, but then the sweat broke my face out. And I randomly got these really pronounced lines that made me look chronically dehydrated and older than I am. I knew I wanted to try a serum, but after an hour of looking at Ulta, I was very overwhelmed by all of the options and also by the range of prices. 

I landed on this one because I recognized it from a few blogs, and it was expensive enough that I thought it might work but didn't make me cry thinking about paying for it. (SIDE NOTE: The link I put here is HALF THE PRICE I paid for it at Ulta so I'm a little mad about that, but now I know!) Guys, it legit starts working right away. I started it on Saturday, after a night of pizza and wine and awful sleep, and noticed that I looked more glowy and not as tired as I should have. By Monday, the lines I'm talking about were NOTICABLY less visible. 10/10 worth it. 

2) NYX Lip Oil. I will forever sing the praises of NYX lip colors. They launched a new product that I finally got around to trying, and I love it. I loveeeeee wearing matte lip colors, but I do hate how they tend to get cracky/crumbly after reapplying. This oil is matte, but goes on like oil (duh) and it's amazing. It does fade faster than others, but you can just put more on without it feeling like you're piling on top of old lipstick, you know? I linked the color I bought, but tell me if you try another color! 

3) Egg White Pore Mask. I've seen this in the Korean beauty section of Ulta, but it kind of scared me. A friend bought it and let me try it and I am converted. It made me feel like it was working on my blemishes AND moisturizing my skin at the same time, which is not an easy feat. When I rinsed it off, I felt like I could go without makeup for days because my skin looked so good. 

Tell me something I need to know about! 
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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

just write: seven letter lie.

you are not perfect;
anyone who has told you so was a liar. 
but they were also blind, 
and did not look closely enough. 
if they had, they would have seen you
and seen that your so-called-imperfections 
are what make you incredible. 
the crinkles around your eyes from years of laughing and
the chip in your tooth from that one time that one summer and 
your stretch marks from when you grew into yourself and
your anxiously-bitten nails because you care so much and 
your laugh that is so loud, so different that strangers must turn around to look at your joy and 
your splotchy birthmarks and 
your frizzy hair and 
your sometimes-stutter and 
how tears spring to your eyes over any emotion. 
what an insult. 
what a lie. 
you are a vast ocean of imperfection
and anyone who has been lucky enough to watch your waves crash knows
you could never be summed up in that 
seven letter
l i e . 
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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

I Always Want to Remember 2017: Part 8

In an effort to pay attention to and be thankful for all the little (and big!) moments in life, I'm going through my pictures at the end of every month and documenting some of the memories that maybe didn't warrant an instagram or an entire post, but are moments I want to remember just the same. I'm a little behind, but I'm so glad I'm doing this. Just now looking at the end of July and August pictures made my heart feel so full. 

2017, Part 8 looked like...
Jack started to boycott sleep, which sucked, but I got lots of midnight laughs like this one. 

Took Jack to Universal, where he RAN around like a grown adult.



 He loved every minute of it, clearly.

This was his reaction to his first carousel ride ever. I melt. 

 Got to take another roadtrip to VA/NC. I love blogging.

Spent the week galavanting around VA and NC with my best friend and her best friends, discovering all the fun spots. God knew I needed these friendships at this time, and I'm so thankful things worked out the way they did for me to meet them at just the right time. 

Experienced my first Duck's Donuts (100% worth the hype)

Went wine tasting at the most beautiful winery.

Had my first acai bowl, and their sizes cracked me up.

Laughed a lot on the most beautiful beach in Kill Devil Hills. 

Came home to this one and took him on a date to Chuy's. Like I said on instagram, he already loves mexican food more than he loves most people, so he's doing it right. 

 Took him to play football at a park.

Went to Melbourne Beach to celebrate my dad's birthday and say goodbye to my brother, who moved to Colorado. Cried a lot...

...laughed a lot more. 

These two are the most mischievous partners in crime, this month and every month.

I took Jack to a children's museum and he loved it.

 Scored big at Sandy's.

My thrift game was on point in August.

Found out my sweet friend is having a baby! I'm SO EXCITED! 

 Put out the bubble machiene and the sprinkler so Jack could live his best summer life.

Went on way too many Target runs with this one and laughed way too hard during all of them. 

Got lots of sleepy snuggles from this little monster. 

I seriously recommend doing's so nice to realize how full your month was by looking through your pictures.

Cheers to celebrating all life's moments, big and little. 
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Friday, September 15, 2017

Practicing Thankfulness.

Let's get very honest for a moment: At the time of writing this, I'm actually writing it in a notebook, because there's no power (thanks, Irma). There's no air conditioning without power, so I'm hot and sweaty and sticky. I would love a hot shower, and I'm grumpy about the fact that if I want a cup of coffee, it's going to be a cup of lukewarm cold-brew I found in my pantry. 

When I woke up Monday morning, I was super thankful that the hurricane didn't hit my area at the level of ferociousness that had been forecasted. I was thankful to be safe and to even have a house, power or no power. 

Know what I'm not feeling a ton of right now? 


Thankfulness doesn't always come naturally. It doesn't feel natural right now, because I just realllllly want a hot shower and a cup of coffee. It doesn't feel natural to be thankful when I'm about to throw away hundreds of dollars of food that went bad without power. And that's okay! I would love to be the kind of person who is naturally thankful in any given situation-and sometimes I am!-but sometimes it takes some practice. One could even say that sometimes, you have to force it. 

So let's practice (ahem, force) some thankfulness today. 

I'm thankful that my house is still in tact, even if it is a thousand and four degrees in here. 

I'm thankful that I had the foresight to buy a bottle of cold-brew coffee, so even though it's not the hot mug I'm craving (nor is it "cold" brew), I'm not having caffeine headaches. 

I'm thankful for the people who reached out to double-check that I was okay and then continued to check-in...I love the blog world. 

I'm thankful that a few days without power has given me time and motivation to write...I'm writing this post by hand, for goodness sake!

I'm thankful for a happy toddler, who has no idea he's supposed to be upset that there's not power and is currently running around sans-clothes while swinging an emergency lantern his BEST life. 

This is cheesy, but I honestly feel better. 

I'm still hot and still want power and would probably still pay somewhere around $75 for a cup of coffee right now, but I feel better. 

What are you thankful for? 

Force it if you have to. 
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Thursday, September 14, 2017

Middle Finger Emoji You, Irma.

What. A. Week. 

One that I am not sad to say goodbye to. 

It feels weird to just be going back to normal life today after all this that craziness, but I'm so glad to be able to do so. I don't have to tell you about the level of destruction this storm caused in some areas, so I know I'm incredibly lucky that being without power for a few days was all that happened to my house. 

I do want to say this: The number of friends who checked on me-before, during, and after the storm-seriously blew me away. One reason being that a lot of them were blog friends, people I haven't had the chance to meet face to face, but who checked in and offered their prayers just the same. It warmed my heart and honestly made me a little emotional. How easy it is to be there for each other in this age of technology, but how very much it means. It was a serious bright spot. 

And now, back to it. Back to work and the probably eight-thousand things I'm sure I fell behind on, but doing so with a really thankful heart. Thankful that my people are safe, thankful my house is standing, and thankful for the AC and hot water I finally got back. 

Life is good. 

Still pissed at you though, Irma. 

Florida friends: You doing okay?! 
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Friday, September 8, 2017

Things Are Just Things.

This is my first big hurricane. 

If you don't know, I live in Florida. A part of Florida that should hypothetically be safe from Hurricane paths, but this one is a beast, and she doesn't seem to care much about that. If you haven't been keeping up with the hurricane forecast, this has been its projected path over the last few days: This part of Florida. Okay, wait, this other part of Florida. Actually, all of Florida. Oh, it'll miss Florida. Wait, nope, all of Florida again. Poor Florida. 

Grocery stores here have been out of water for days, gas is sold out now, it just feels eerie. Like you're slowly waiting on something horrible to happen, but you don't know where, or how bad, or when it's happening. 

My parents called last night (I may be 25, but if you think I didn't spend this week 100% waiting on my dad to tell me what to do about this hurricane, you don't know me) and said that I should get my things together just in case the newest model is right and this town does get hit. 

I'm a sentimental person. I attach way too much value to everything not because of the stuff, but because of the memories along with it. 

But today, getting things together just in case this goes really bad, I don't feel panicky over the potential loss of anything. Because for the last few days, I've had one thought rolling around and around in my mind: Things are just things, they can be replaced. 

Wednesday, watching the news, seeing pictures of my parents boarding their precious house up. Things are just things, they can be replaced. Yesterday, braving the grocery store and being taken aback by the apocalyptic feeling. Things are just things, they can be replaced. Opening instagram to find lots and lots of messages from friends opening their homes, just in case. Things are just things, they can be replaced. 

Now, writing this, Jack is asleep next to me, his little body pressed into my side. His tiny little chest moving up and down, up and down. Things are just things. 

Things are just things. 

Things are just things. 

Screw you, Irma. 

Stay safe, friends. xo
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