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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Things You Hear When You Get Married Young.

I got engaged at 19 and married at 20. Apparently, this was confusing to a lot of people, because I got a lot of these reactions.

NOTE: I still get some of these comments, and we've been married for almost two years. 

1. Are you pregnant? 


Every. Single. Time. #RUDE.

2. But I'm confused...you're like, a baby. 


Ironically, this was most often said by people who were a whopping six months or so older than me.

3. But do you even know how to be married?


I'm pretty sure no one knows how to be married until they actually get married.

4. But how do you know that's what you want forever?


This is always a thinly veiled, "but how do you know there's not someone better out there?" And no matter how I answer it, we end back up at: "BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW?!"

5. Wait...have you never had sex with anyone else? 


And this matters to you because...?

6. How are you going to have money to live?


I'm pretty sure it costs money to money to live no matter if you're married or not.

7. Do you know that people who get married young are more likely to get divorced?


Do you know that people who spend their time telling other people statistics about their life are more likely to end up with zero friends? 

8. Do you even know what you want to do with your life yet? 


Not a clue. But I know I want to get married, so there's that.

9. Do your parents know about this?


Nope, my parents have no idea, but I'm telling you, random stranger. Nailed it. 

10. I would never get married that young. I mean, your life is basically over.


Anyone who thinks that their life is over once they get married should probably just not get married, no matter how old they are.

11. Why the rush?


I mean, I didn't know three years was rushing things, but that's cool.

12. But really...are you pregnant? 


Okay, bye. 

Get married, don't get married...I think everyone should just do whatever they want. I wanted to get married, so I did.

I think that meeting the person I wanted to marry so young is the luckiest thing in the world. It means we get to grow up together. Instead of telling my husband stories about things like my first real job, or my 21st birthday, or my first car wreck, I can just say, "hey, remember that?"

And I think that's pretty freaking cool.

Have you ever been asked these questions?

77 comments:

  1. I think marriage is such a personal choice and is all about your own frame of mind. I'm so effing emotionally immature I don't think I would be ready to get married right now even if the right person walked into my life and got me in the face with a plank (hoping the right person wouldn't do that though). The reason I wouldn't et married now isn't because I'm too young, it's because of my own mind and where I am in my life. I think two people can be emotionally ready to commit to eachother that way at any age and I think someone can be emotionally unavailable at any age too! It's all very personal and I think in these instances it is always best to refrain from judging other people's personal choices from the outside. Love that you're happy and in love and married to your best friend (:

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  2. I got married at 23 and I think people STILL assumed these things. My husband is quite a bit older than me (8 years) so we got a lot of "are you sure it will work out with the age difference?". Lame.

    People just need to mind their own business. Cheers to marrying young.

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  3. HAHA, this post is great. I didn't get married until I was 30, which many consider old, so the idea of being married young is extremely foreign to me. But, that doesn't mean I don't think people that are married young are wrong or crazy. To each their own! :)

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  4. I got engaged at 19 too and got married a few days after we turned 20. I have gotten asked all of those questions! I agree that it is so fun to grow up together, and some people don't get it that when you know you want to marry someone, you are so ready for it to happen, no matter what age. :)

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  5. I think it's a toss up either way these days. Young or older a marriage can still blow up in smoke either way! You just have to go with your heart and do what's best for you. Sounds like you did that!!!

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  6. We have the opposite problem! We're 29 & 36 and have been dating for 7 years. We get "what's wrong with you guys?" And "you know you're living in sin, right?" And, of course, "you better hurry or you'll be too old to have babies." Thanks, people! Didn't mean to rant on your space, but I get it! People should mind their business!

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  7. "Not a clue. But I know I want to get married, so there's that." I love your responses so much! It's your marriage - not theirs. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

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  8. PREACH! I got married at 22 after dating for 7 years and I still got a lot of these.

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  9. ugh #1!!! my sister got married at 19 and EVERYONE assumed that! one lady even brought a baby gift to the bridal shower "to be funny" but no one thought it was funny & it was just really awkward when it was opened! my sister ended up not having her first child until they had been married for 9 years! how's that for ironic haha!

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  10. Oh yes! We did too... My husband was 19 and I just turned 22 when we got married. The age you got married has nothing to do with divorce, people are crazy. We've been married 6 years now :) People just need to mind their business huh!

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  11. Rudest questions in the world are 1) why aren't you married yet 2) why aren't you married so soon 3) are you pregnant
    4) are you having kids

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  12. Preach, girl! I got engaged at 20, and married at 21 to a guy I had been dating since I was 16. "But you're so young!" Gah.. some people! :)

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  13. I say amen to that! I married my high school sweetheart when we were 23 and got a lot of the same reactions. I got a lot of, "But don't you want to date around and see what else is out there?"

    And leave this perfectly awesome relationship that most people struggle for years to find? No thanks.

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  14. I'm not married, but I think you getting married when you did was great, for you. If you found the one you love and the one for you then you would've got married! People will always have something to say no matter what the situation is. You're married and I am very happy for you.
    But I do have one question.. "Are you pregnant?"
    No I'm just kidding. But seriously I hope you guys last a lifetime and than some.
    Best of Luck,

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  15. I do think it is to each thier own however, it is shocking when people get married young. It's not like a "omg you're weird" it's more of a "oh wow, that's interesting". I was 24 when I got married and i felt like that was young. so of course you gotta do you. My sisters are 20 and if they were to get married I would murder them. But they also aren't very mature, so there's that.

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  16. Do you know that people who spend their time telling other people statistics about their life are more likely to end up with zero friends?
    hahaha I laughed so hard are there.
    People are rude no matter what - you get married young, you get married old, you're from another country and you marry an american and people think it's just to get a green card, people yabber on about how they would NEVER live so far away from family, I mean how can I cope? Seriously people need to mind their own business!!

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  17. My husband and I were 21 & 22 when we got married (knew each other since we were 15/16), but so many of our friends were in rather serious relationships at the time (most of them married those same people) that no one really questioned us. My mom was a bit concerned I'd just quite college...but I still graduated!

    I just still look like I'm 22, so I get funny looks when people find out how long I've been married. It's like that quote in "when harry met sally"...when you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you want your life to begin now!

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  18. I admire your patience for not smacking any of these people.

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  19. Haha these are hilarious! I got married this summer at 23 and people definitely thought I was too young. But I'm loving this journey! And my husband and I dated for 6 years-- 6 YEARS! It was about time. :) Thanks for writing this!

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  20. I love this! That's my attitude exactly that I feel so fortunate to have met the person I want to spend my life with so young. I didn't have to experience a lot of relationships that didn't work out and I get that much more time being my husband's wife. Why wouldn't you want as much of that as possible?!

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  21. I'm not sure getting married at 28 has made me more qualified to be married. Just sayin. I also love the response to the judge friends!

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  22. I think a lot of people think that whatever is best or what they want for their life is what should happen in everyone's life. My husband and I got married at 20/21 while in college and we think it was truely the best thing for us. We had been dating for 4 years (almost to the day!), had gone through 2 years of a 4 hr distance relationship, and just knew that if we had already done all this, what was the point of waiting just because people thought we were young. Just because we are at a different stage of life as someone else doesn't make us all crazy. . . or pregnant. My husband and I both have Christian backgrounds and even people who knew that we didn't beleive in sex before marriage had the audacity to ask us if we were pregnant.

    Thanks for writing this, it's nice to know when someone is in the same boat. :)

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  23. Goodness, this is SO true! I got married at 22 and still got all these questions and comments!

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  24. I hear ya girl! I think it's silly that people even care? I mean it's not like people go around questioning people who get married at an old age? I mean does it matter??

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  25. but does anyone really know how to be married at any age?

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  26. I got married at 19. We have been married 11 years and I don't regret it one bit. Looking back though, I think I didn't realize what I was getting into. I don't think my age really affected that. The whole idea that there is a right/wrong whatever way to marry is ridiculous. Everyone has to make their own choice and it should be respected.

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  27. Even though I was in my mid-twenties when I got married I still got asked if we were getting married because we were pregnant. When they discover I wasn't pregnant at the time, they would then ask, "Well, when are you going to get pregnant?" UGH. That's my most hated married question.

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  28. I STILL get asked this stuff all the time. We got married when I was 20 (3 months later I turned 21). Here were are, 6 years later, going strong. It's definitely not for someone else to decide when you're ready to get married: young or old! I've seen people in their 70's getting married and still getting crap about it. People are just rude.

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  29. This was a great post and it made me laugh with the gifs. I think personality goes a long with when you decide to get married and you chose to get married at a young age because it fit with YOU. It's great that you found the person you knew you wanted to marry at a young age and not everyone does, in regards to #4- its like you're saying well I found the best and don't think there is anyone better. Good for you! Just keep rolling your eyes and walk away because not everyone is going to get it. And, to add on - you are NOT a statistic.

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  30. We didn't get married young, but we got engaged after 3 months and married after 9.. and everyone always has their own opinion of things. but i never take marriage advice from 1. people who aren't married.. and 2. people who don't know me in and out and have the right to speak into my life.. ya know? :)

    i need to watch mean girls again!

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  31. I envy people who married young! Life is short, and I want as much time with my husband as possible. I feel like we missed out on not meeting each other sooner.

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  32. THIS POST IS PERFECT! I am 23 and still getting this from all kinds of people. Especially the sex thing, no matter how old I would be getting married I would still only be with one person. ever. If it doesn't change somebody else life, why does it matter?

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  33. love this! speak from the heart sister!!
    xo

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  34. People are ALWAYS going to have an opinion. I'm unmarried at 37 and get things like, "Don't be so picky." Oh, really? I'm picky because I didn't marry that guy who still lived with his mom and had an unstable construction job?

    Sorry, these judgmental issues bring out the ranty in me.

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  35. I cannot tell you how much I love this post! This perfectly described how people acted around me before I got married (last year) and how they still act around me! This is just too perfect!

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  36. Society has changed so much... I got married at 24 and started trying to have kids a year later, I had friends who were 30 telling me then I got married too young and why did I even want kids?!
    It ended up taking us 3 years to have a baby sooo kinda glad we did start then!!! I'm now 28, happily married to my sweetheart of 5 years and we have shared so much already. It's a beautiful life, don't let anybody make you think differently! (PS-most of these people asking you things like this are so freakin jealous!!!!)

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  37. "Do you know that people who spend their time telling other people statistics about their life are more likely to end up with zero friends?" <--- THIS. Bahahaha. I got married at 23 and people thought that was CRAZY. so many unnecessary comments.

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  38. #amen

    Pretty pretty funny. My philosophy is the same as yours. If someone wants to get married at 19 - go for it. If someone wants to get married at 95 - go for it. DO YOU.

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  39. Your reactions to those questions were great. I like to think that when you know, you know. It is great that you guys knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together :)

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  40. I will be getting married a 23 and I do get these comments. Getting married is one of the most important we will make in our life. It should be between you and your future husband, that's it.

    emilietalks.blogspot.ca

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  41. This post made me laugh so hard! I'm 20 and am seriously talking about getting married. I love your perspective!

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  42. This list is awesome. People are going to say and assume these things no matter what though! I got engaged at 23, married at 24 to someone I'd been dating for 4 years prior to our engagement... and I STILL got asked so many of these questions! Usually from people who didn't know us very well and ultimately didn't matter.
    My favorite: "You know marriage is a commitment, right?" Nope. I had no idea.

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  43. I love these! I got married at 23 and heard all of these. People just need to mind their own business!

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  44. Wow, these are all so rude! And #5! I can't believe anyone would say. While all of these are rude, I can imagine people saying them, but #5? Seriously people? Like you said, the right thing for one person might not be the right thing for another, so while marrying young might work for some of the people saying these works, it obviously worked well for you!

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  45. I hear ya on so many levels of this post whether you were "too young" to be married or for me "you're getting up there in age to have kids"..it seems they'll always be the more outspoken persons in your life. At the end of the day it's your life and you make the decisions. ;-)

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  46. Oh my word! This is such a good list! AND YES. I was married at 21, and everyone at work made fun of me. :/ They were like, I got married early and look I'm ALREADY divorced. You wait.

    People can be so inconsiderate, and think just because it didn't work for them it doesn't work for me! So not true. Love my man to death!

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  47. Ha! I love what you said on #7. Too funny.

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  48. haha!! so good!! i was 8 for SURE. and yes totalllyyyyyy. you grow up together! instead of figuring it all out on your own and then having to change half of how you do things when you do get married... you just learn how you like to do things together! people say funny stuff. just wait till you ARE pregnant. i couldn't believe how many people asked "was it on purpose??" a very bizarre question to answer haha!

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  49. I love this! I was 22 when I got married, but really didn't hear too much about it either way. I did get some looks and questions when we decided to have a baby sooner than a lot of our friends though! Everyone is in different places and I'm not sure why we want to make others feel bad for not being on our timetable. I definitely agree with your #10! SO TRUE!

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  50. I'm Mormon and getting married young is pretty normal for us. Most girls are married by 22 and pregnant. I got married at 22 and then had a kid two years later. So, being 24 and a new mom is "kinda old" in the Mormon world. But, the pregnant one is a huge question in our culture. Families are very important in our Mormon culture and we believe one of the most important commandments is to "multiply and replenish the earth", so if you are married, you most definitely are going to be asked "are you pregnant?" in our culture!

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  51. Ughh... I got married at 23 and I definitely got some of those questions and comments. I don't see why it's such a big deal. Also, my mom married my dad when she was 19. They're still happily married almost 30 years later!

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  52. My husband and I got engaged at 17 and 18 and married when I was 22 and he was 21. I think it's so weird how other people in my generation live / act. Right now we are 23 and he's still 21, we have lived on our own and been completely independent for years, we don't plan on having kids anytime soon, and yes, we haven't had sex with anyone else besides each other, and my dad was the officiant at our wedding! Neither one of us are religious at all, I just don't know why on earth other people my age don't do things more similar to us. In every other generation throughout human history you would get married young. All of a sudden it's strange with this one particular generation. I don't get it.

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    1. The good news is I have gotten no unusual comments. The only thing anyone has said toward us is congratulations.

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  53. Such a good post!! My husband and I got engaged at 21 (and we had only been together for 3 months). I got the "Are you pregnant?" so many times it was ridiculous. But when you know, you know.

    Nikki
    thefashionablewife.com

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    1. We got engaged after four months and we got asked all kinds of things. I put a spin on our engagement announcement for entertainment.

      "We're so happy to announce that we're engaged & expecting...expecting to be pronounced MR & MRS in just a few short days! NO we're not pregnant, but we're beyond excited to begin our new life together. We're now accepting bets on how long everyone thinks our marriage will last. Please send the checks to our new address, as we plan to spend the money the day our marriage surpasses the last bet."

      Funny story- The longest someone predicted was five years. We're approaching year three and we are just bound and determine to prove MY MOTHER wrong. Yes, that was my mother of all people who predicted five years. She also said she'll be sending me a gift basket and a congratulations card when the time comes, lol.

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  54. I saw something like this on buzzfeed and so glad you resurfaced it because it is hysterical! Like these are no joke things people say, for real! I've heard or been told most of these being engaged at 20 and married at 22. So funny! I do actually take pride in having a happy marriage so young. I tell yea, it's not for everybody! ;)

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  55. hahah, this is true to a T. not that i am married or anything. but dating the same guy since high school 6+ years, i get similar stuff too! good for you, and YAY for us :)

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  56. Hahaha oh my gosh amen! I'm 22 and getting married and I still feel like people think some of these things... Luckily, most of the people I know have enough tact to keep ridiculous comments like these to themselves! :)

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  57. This is way too funny!! The hubby and I got engaged five years ago (at 21)... and even though we've been married for awhile, we stillllll get these questions, ha!

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  58. Hmmm...people need to mind their business. I'm 32, not yet married...but constantly get the question on when I'm going to have children. I got so tired of it, I wrote a blog post about it.

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  59. Oh wow. You are incredible. This is truly a work of art! What about not having to think things like..."This is way better than my first marriage..." Too much? lol

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  60. Love this! I was 24 when I got married, and I still heard every single on of those things. My (now) husband and I were dating for 6 months when he proposed and the first thing out of everyone's mouth was "are you pregnant?" I wanted to scream at everyone who asked me that!

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  61. Lol the struggle is real. I got engaged at 18, married at 19. Age doesn't define your maturity level. My husband is in the military and when we got engaged people said, "She must be pregnant", "She's just marrying him for the money", or "She's just going to become another stupid statistic". I laughed at people's inability to speculate everything but the truth. I'd been out of high school for a year at that point and many people from my high school class began posting status's like, "Oh lets just race to see who can get pregnant, engaged, or married the fastest". People are so quick to judge and doom your happiness because it's not the route they would choose for themselves. My response to them, Congrats! This is my life, not yours, so mind your own business. Three years later, we're in an even better place and I'd still do it all over again. "Do you know that people who spend their time telling other people statistics about their life are more likely to end up with zero friends?" Amen. I wish I would of had this quote to retaliate with back when I was being called a "future statistic". Marriage has had such a life changing impact on me and my life, and who I am today. I'm so grateful for everything I have and the person I've become. Most people aren't as lucky to of found what we have so early on in life. It's a blessing and I wish nothing but happiness upon all our haters. They don't know what they're missing out on.

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  62. Oh my goodness I can so relate! I got married three months after I turned 20--it's funny, I get more flack for it now than I did then. But we've almost been married for 15 years, so who cares about those statistics, right? I love that you love being married. Too many people act like marriage is the pits and it kind of makes those people who actually want to be married and love being married feel like the minority. Anyway, this was a funny post! Just happened upon your blog today and I love it.

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  63. Hahahahahahah I love the humor and honesty all wrapped up together here :) Thanks for sharing, I love it!

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  64. These are amazing! Like you said, I think there isn't such thing as "Normal" and people will find something to judge no matter what, so you just gotta do whatever you feel is best because that's all that matters! Love this post!

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  65. So true! I got married at 24 and some guy at the airport told me that it was just too young. People and their opinions!
    xo,
    Jacqueline
    stylininstlouis.com

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  66. Ha! This is great! I got married at 21, and I definitely heard every single one of these. The divorced one really gets me. I know plenty of people who married young and are still going strong 30 plus years later. I also know some who waited until later and divorced soon after. Age has nothing to do with it in 99% of divorce cases.

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  67. I. Am. DYING.
    Hahaha thank you SO MUCH for writing this!! As a 19 yr old wife married to the 23 yr old husband of my dreams (married 5 months), I DEFINITELY get where you're coming from!!! Ohhh man, this is perfect!! Luckily for me in Happy Valley (aka Utah), it's much more common for people to get married young just cause they found the right guy! So luckily no one thought anything sketchy (and yuppers - I was a virgin), but my husband and I lived in Alaska over the summer right after we got married and I worked as a nanny. I toted two kids around, and did I mention that Alaska has a super high teen pregnancy rate?
    Oh man. This post was priceless and brings back so much. Thanks!!

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  68. I started living with my boyfriend when I was 18 and even though we're not married, I get a LOT of these questions. Especially the pregnant one. Isn't it shocking how rude people can be?! I agree that people who find love young are lucky- it's amazing to have someone to experience life with and grow with.

    Jenny
    From the Desk of J

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  69. Just found this Chelsea and oh so true!!!! I also wrote about why I married young, but I love this more light hearted but real approach! Everything is SO true!

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  70. My husband asked me to marry him when he was 20, I was 22. He proposed 5 months after meeting. We got married 10 months after knowing each other. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. YOU. SAID!!!! Oh my gosh!!! LOL!!! So funny! We are now 25 and 28 and happier than ever... :) loved this post.

    xo Lori

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  71. Wow, people are so rude! I can't believe I hadn't seen this post before, but I got married at 24 and STILL heard stuff like that. No matter what, people feel like it's their place to question your major life decisions. So ridiculous! I am glad you are happy and were lucky enough to find someone you love at a young age so you can spend your whole life together. :)

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  72. Just discovering your blog, and this is definitely one of my favorite posts. You're dead right, girl. I'm so glad you followed your heart, but you definitely didn't need me to tell you that. hahaha #rude People are even saying things like this to me right now and I'm not even married. What's WRONG with people?

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  73. This is AWESOME! No but seriously, I'm so glad I found your blog! I know this was posted a few months ago but it totally made my night! I got married 2 months before my 21st bday and had only been dating my hubs for 5 months! When you know, you know!!! 9 years {married} later, 3 kids and globe trotting and I'm so glad I married him when I did! You prob think I'm so old {I feel so old next to you} but I was asked all these questions too! I still get asked about marrying young! Lol thank you for sharing this! You have a new follower! xx

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