I’m trying to think of another way to phrase this next part other than “and then I got pregnant” because I hate when people say things like that to me, like my life is worse because I had sex and it resulted in a human life. But in this case, the phrase fits..."and then I got pregnant."
So I’m not seeing Taylor on Saturday. Because dropping $200 to spend the night dancing around in a costume when you’re in a "wild and free and you only live once" phase and dropping $200 to spend the night dancing around in a costume when you’re in an “about to have a baby” phase are two very, very different things.
This isn’t to say, “well, life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, bummer.” It’s to say, life is way different than I thought it would be a year ago. And it’s good.
I wasn't dancing the night away with Taylor on Saturday. Instead, I was celebrating the last day of October by freezing my face off and seeing actual fall leaves. The last weekend in October found me catching frostbite by Lake Eerie and exploring cities like Cleveland and Cincinnati and Indianapolis, places I never knew I wanted to see.
Last Halloween, Chris got off work early (a rare occurrence) and we celebrated by getting queso and margaritas for lunch. This year, he didn't have to work at all (pure bliss) because we're on the residency hunt. But since I've got a baby hanging out in me for another 11 weeks, we celebrated with apple cider instead.
Last Halloween was fun. Getting margaritas in the middle of the day with my husband, getting dressed up and going out with my friends, it was all so fun. It was a fun season. It was great. Seeing Taylor Swift end her tour on Halloween? That would have been incredibly fun.
But traveling and seeing new places and exploring towns I haven't yet gotten the chance to fall in love with? That was perfect. Being equal parts terrified and excited while trying to imagine a life in one of these towns with my tiny family was a magical way to spend the weekend.
On Halloween this year, we had lunch in Indianapolis. We were finishing up when a couple with a baby dressed up as a pumpkin sat at the table next to us. They ordered beers and laughed with each other and showed off their little pumpkin who waved at everyone in the restaurant. They were clearly having the best Halloween ever with the people that were the most important to them, and seeing that made my heart feel so full. Because maybe next year I'll be sitting at a table, having a beer and talking about life with Chris while we laugh at our little guy, dressed up like a pumpkin.
So life is different now. More different that I could have imagined at this time last year. But it is so, so good.
I'll catch you next tour, Taylor.