Gatsby doesn't hate all this lounging and waiting on Jack to arrive.
- All joking aside, I'm reminding myself that it's a privilege to get to carry a baby to full term, and that many people have had to give birth early and spend a long time in the hospital instead of at home with their little love. I may be extremely uncomfortable, but I'm also extremely thankful that my little guy seems to be doing good...he's just nice and cozy and doesn't want to face the real world yet. On that, we can understand each other.
- At my baby shower, people brought me books instead of cards. Because we live in a studio, they had to go into storage until I could clear some space for them. I finally got around to clearing off my bookshelf (no easy task for any book-lover), and put all the baby books up on the shelf. I am so excited to get to read all of these stories to him.
- We're at this weird place where everything that is going to get done is already done. Meaning that we've done everything we know of to do...everything is set up, the clothes and sheets are all washed, the hospital bags packed, freezer meals ready...we're no longer racing the clock on a to-do list, we're just waiting on Jack.
- Chris said to me, "I feel like we're just running out the clock at this point." He didn't mean it in a bad way, but I hate the idea of not taking advantage of time we have together, so I made him play cards with me. And about twenty minutes into that, cried because my back hurt, so we just went to bed instead. I'm learning that the advice you get for the end of pregnancy just isn't realistic for everyone. Things like, "Go on as many date nights as you can during those last few weeks!" (I love a good date night, but the thought of having to sit at a table for an hour and a half right now makes me want to cry) Or, "Stock up on sleep now, you're going to need it!" (HA. HA. HA. 39 week pregnant me would love nothing more than to stock up on sleep. 39 week pregnant me also happens to be incapable of sleeping more than a few hours at a time, since I'm housing an entire human at the moment.) So I'm letting go of the picture other people had painted for me--a relaxing, honeymoon-type phase with my babe before our littlest gets here--and instead embracing lots of Netflix and movie nights where we have to pause the show every twenty minutes so I can get a snack/go to the bathroom/switch positions/ask for a massage/make Chris switch seats with me because his seat looks more comfortable/pause again because it wasn't more comfortable and I want my seat back. But hey, if running out the clock is what we're doing, there's no one in the entire world I'd rather be doing it with.
39 weeks down, 1(ish) to go. ONE. WEEK. SEVEN. DAYS. Hopefully this is the last one of these posts I'll be writing, and next time I write anything about Jack, it will be accompanied by a picture of his sweet little face!
Whenever you're ready, little man.