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Monday, April 4, 2016

Baby Jack: A Birth Story. (Part Two)

Continuing the story of baby Jack and how he came into this world. Part one here.


We left off with the grumpy nurse, but unfortunately, that is not where she leaves my story. She took us back to a triage room, hooked me up to a monitor and, within ten minutes, told me I was going home. Even though my contractions were only 3 minutes apart at this point, they were only lasting about 40 seconds, and she said I was only dilated to a 2-the same I had been at my doctor's appointment.

The doctor had to see me before I could be sent home, though, and he was in a c-section, so she left me in the triage room, hooked up to the monitors. For two hours. Where I still had contractions every. three. minutes.

Now seems like a good time to address the issue of contractions. Everything I read said, "You can't really explain what they feel like!" Which I found incredibly frustrating, because I feel like if so many women experience this, someone should be able to explain them. And then I spent the day having contractions, so here I am to explain them to you.

It feels like you are slowly dying from the inside out. And that is all I can say. Because now I realize that the reason no one can explain them is because there is literally nothing else to compare them to.

I spent those two hours alternating squeezing Christopher's hand and whining and saying "I cannot do this" and trying to make it through clips of my favorite episodes of The Office.  Then this magical moment happened where I heard my doctor's voice coming down the hall, and I literally began crying out of sheer happiness before he even came in the room. Long (and gruesome) story short, he told the nurse she was wrong and that I was ready to be admitted and have an epidural.

Now, I know that there is a lot of back and forth about whether or not epidurals are safe/worth it/the right decision, so I will now lay out the pros and cons of getting an epidural and also the specific steps of my birth plan.

PROS: Literally everything. 
CONS: Nothing. 
BIRTH PLAN: Get an epidural. As soon as possible. 

I can only imagine the emails I will from you guys about this, but bring it on. I'm so happy with that decision. I will also say that even if I had spent my entire pregnancy thinking that I wanted to have a natural birth with no medicine, the pain I was in while I waited on the doctor would have been more than enough to change my mind. 

The two sweetest nurses came by to get me ready to be admitted, and Chris asked them if I could eat something since I hadn't eaten all day. They went and asked and came back and said "We have a good news/bad news situation. You can eat, but if you do, you can't get an epidural." And that is the story of how my 2 day diet came to be. 

I got admitted at about 6:00PM, and the guy who was going to give me the epidural was in the room waiting for me-cue tears of sheer happiness round two. I made sure to NOT look at the little cart he was pushing around...I knew what those needles looked like, and I did not need to see the one that was about the be shoved in my back.

My nurse who would be with me the rest of the night (her name was Marci and she was the best ever) came and stood in front of me with her arms out. She explained that sometimes when people get an epidural, the pain surprises them so they jump off the bed. Casual. I prepared myself to feel a bunch of pain and not jump off the bed...anddddd I didn't feel a single thing. I thought he was still taping off the area once it was done.

We've already established that I was pretty clueless about this whole having a baby thing, but one of the many things I was wrong about was that I thought it took at least an hour for the epidural to kick in-wrong. I was hooked up to a monitor and the guy asked me "Is it working yet?" I said, "I have no idea." The nurse gestured to the screen and told me I was in the middle of a monster contraction.

I. Felt. Nothing.

And thus began one of the most amazing nights of my entire life.

To be continued (again)...

38 comments:

  1. Haha, I love the pro/con list for the epidural! Sounds like y'all had quite the adventure in the hospital.

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  2. I think you should send a link to your blog to the nurse and doctor...xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  3. Girlfriend, there is no shame in our game whatsoever with getting an epidural lol! I plan on having all of them because I know for a fact I cannot handle a natural birth. Mad props to the ladies who can!

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  4. man what an awesome birth plan haha! and so glad you didn't feel it & it kicked in really fast!!! especially after the 2 hours in the triage room! bye grumpy nurse!!

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  5. This is so so true! I thought my contractions felt like period cramps on CRACK. I also had the epidural and I cant imagine doing it without. Why be a hero for no reason? I may have tried to go without if it made me feel woozy or high in some way but I describe the epidural to people as just the absence of pain. You go from feeling like you will die to feeling normal. Why anyone would avoid that I have no idea.

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    1. Period cramps on crack isn't a bad description!

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  6. Amen to epidural! I'm sorry you had to wait those two agonizing hours though.

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  7. Hahaha I love that about an epidural but it really does take all the pain away. I tried to be stubborn the first go around and do it without but the pain was unbearable. Definitely recommend it to mamas as well! :)

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  8. I've been reading so many birth stories and debates about epidurals vs. unmedicated births. Which I'm not really sure why these readings are my new obsession since I don't plan on having kids for a few years, BUT I LOVE YOUR PROS/CON list. Love it. Thanks for being straight and also thanks for not giving a list of 1000 reasons that don't really make any sense in the first place.

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  9. You are adorable and funny and real and I love your genuine honesty about all this. Whenever I see styled photos from birth rooms I automatically click X because I do not need another story telling me how wonderful childbirth is. Congratulations on having the cutest baby :)

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  10. Oh, girl! i'm so sorry about that grumpy nurse but PTL for that epidural!

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  11. Love that graphic.. i'm all for that!

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  12. Haha, I know I am going to be the same way when I give birth! My dad even had a dream of me having a baby (which is kind of weird?), and he said I kept asking for an epidural! :)

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  13. haha i love it. unless your epidural doesn't work like what happened to me. and that was the worst night of my life- which ended with the most amazing gift ever. and i would do it all over again tomorrow. love this.

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  14. Love this so much! Your writing as always is fabulous and real and I can't wait to read the rest of the story! :)

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  15. I am so on board with getting an epidural. I'm not about to be a martyr for pain and pretend like it makes someone a better mom. ;-)

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  16. This is amazing!! I love anesthesia for surgeries so I'm right there with ya. ...why go through the pain!? The closest thing I have had to a contraction was whatever was produced after having to take Misoprotol (I have no idea how to spell) it....I thought literally my ENTIRE insides were trying to exit my body at the same time...through my ass. What an image, huh?
    Anyways, can't wait to read the rest!

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  17. I will absolutely 150% have an epidural. If someone else wants to not have one, more power to them!

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  18. You are so so so so soooooo the best with explaining your epidural situation! I will remember this for when I have a baby, because I'm typically terrified of needles, but I will know that it's totally worth it!

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  19. The idea of an epidural (the needle) makes me want to puke (even though I'm not afraid of needles at all... I have a tattoo for heavens sake) but the idea of being in pain and pushing a human out of me one day is enough that I know I'll be like, "give me allll the drugs." No shame whatsoever.

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  20. Yay for epidurals! Every mom I know says to get the epidurals, and a lot of them tried to be a hero the first time and go natural, and got the epidural the 2nd time and say it was more than worth it. Sorry you suffered so much through the contractions, but yay for feeling nothing with the epidural and yay for little Jack <3

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  21. Love this sweet story! And whatever works for you is what works. Hate that we all have to be so judgmental! When the time comes, I can't imagine NOT having an epidural. Thanks for your honesty!

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  22. Epidural's are MAGICAL. I spent most of my labor texting my BFF and watching movies with my husband. I don't regret it;)

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  23. Are you making us wait for another installment?!? Rude! I need to know more! Labor and contractions are completely indescribable. I only know I dread doing that again. One reason I didn't want an epidural was because I wanted to be in control of my own legs/body and I've had friends who said their epidural didn't wear off for a few hours after and they couldn't walk on their own, etc. but it's personal preference and I don't know why people get all uppity about it one way or the other. I might get one next time!

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  24. Hahaha YES!!!!!!!!! to the epidural/birth plan. Mine was exactly the same. Zero regrets. Would definitely recommend.

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  25. I'm so glad your doctor showed up even though that must have felt like for.ev.er. I have a HUGE phobia towards needles and pain medication in general so I've been pretty set on trying a natural birth, but I always tell people "I've never had a contraction so I really have no idea what I'm talking about." If I get there and want one, I'm totally going to take it! I don't get why people are judgy about it. The same reason they are judgy about anything else I guess...jerks!

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  26. This makes me feel about 1000 times better about getting an epidural!

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  27. Oh my gosh, I love reading your birth story. I plan to do the same thing.. Give me all the medicine!!!

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  28. Yay. I am so glad you are finishing Jack's birth story. I love these. And I was going to get an epidural if I had a vaginal birth, but I had an emergency c-section with my girls.

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  29. Seriously cracking up over your bluntness...LOVE it. Can't wait to hear more!

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  30. Birth stories are always my favorite - loved reading this - thanks for sharing!

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  31. Oh my gosh. Dying from inside out is serious business. I'm scared. When we have a baby, I definitely plan on an epidural!
    Evelina @ Fortunate House

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  32. Can't wait to read the rest! I love birth stories.

    I completely planned on having an epidural with Wyatt {I did with Cash} & when I told the nurse I was ready she called the anesthesiologist. Well, I waited too long because he was tending to other patients {I was third in line} & I was too far along. I just about died when she told me that. Hail to the epidural!

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  33. glad you found what worked for you! im almost halfway through my pregnancy and the thought of contractions sounds inteeeense but also doable since everyone woman experiences them! i'm planning to be at a birthing center so not epidural for me - working on preparing my mind and body to cope because i know it's going to be a beast!

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  34. Birth stories are my favorite! So fun catching up on yours...I can't wait for the rest! And "dying from the inside out" is certainly the best description of contractions I've heard so far!

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  35. Congrats on your new exciting adventure!

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  36. I love your pro/con list for the epidural. I'm with you on that. Not that I've ever experienced childbirth, but I can imagine that it's quite painful and something to help with that pain would be a miracle.

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