Image Map

Monday, May 30, 2016

The One Big Thing that May Taught Me.

Like most months that come with big events, May taught me a heck of a lot. But-as cheesy and cliché as I am about to sound-I can sum it all up in one lesson. 

May taught me that dreams really do come true.

This month, I got to see the love of my life achieve his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. It was such a big dream that it always seemed so far away, but it came true. 

This month, our dream of becoming homeowners came true. It seemed like such a lofty dream, but here we are. 

May is the month that so many of my little dreams became reality. My dream of getting to stay in Florida, getting to say goodbye to apartment living, getting to move somewhere that feels like a perfect place to house all my future dreams. 

So often we walk through life just waiting for something bad to happen, just waiting for something to go wrong. WHY do we do that?! 

Sure, I've had my fair share of months that made me want to throw my hands up and scream at the sky-WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! This month, though, it's been me looking around in awe and incredulously whispering, "what did I do to deserve this?" 

And yeah, I'm sure that I have many times ahead of me where I'll feel like the entire universe is against me, once again. But when those times come, I hope that I'll go lay in my hammock in my perfect backyard and remind myself of this magical month; remind myself that dreams really do come true, so I need to shake it off, because there's still magic out there to be seen. 

What did May teach you? 
 photo signature.png

Friday, May 27, 2016

Goodbye, Orlando. Love You Forever.

I remember the first time I "came home" to Orlando. We got back from our honeymoon the first week of January and it was freezing. I had only packed tropical clothes, naturally, and shivered in my neon orange shorts the whole way to out apartment. When we walked in-my first time coming home to this new place-it was just so warm and cozy and immediately felt like home. 

Orlando was my home for three and a half years. It's where I had my first lease and my first legal drink. It's where med school and match day and graduation happened. It's where we got Gatsby. It's where Jack was born. It's where I made friends and lost friends and made some great decisions and made some poor choices and ultimately became someone I was really proud of. It will always hold a giant piece of my heart. A giant piece of me. 

So goodbye for now, Orlando. Goodbye to the apartment that warmed my heart three and a half years ago and goodbye to the tiny apartment in the sky with the view that took my breath away the first time I saw it. Goodbye to the best tacos I've ever had and to my favorite sushi happy hour. Goodbye to Lake Eola and the farmer's market, to the best rooftop pool, to the traffic that makes me crazy. 

I'll miss you. 

I told Chris the other day that I thought we did our time in Orlando just right. We didn't outgrow it so soon that we didn't enjoy our last bit of time in Orlando, but we outgrew it soon enough that I'm not sad to be leaving. How can I be when a perfect home and the next chapter of my life is waiting for me in Gainesville? It's never easy to say goodbye, but having a hello waiting right around the corner makes it a little bit sweeter. 

Thanks for all the good, Orlando. I'll love you forever.  photo signature.png

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Books I Read in May (And Whether or Not You Should Read Them).

Two. I read two books in May. To be fair, I've had a lot going on with Christopher's graduation and buying a house and all. But when I got pregnant, someone told me I would never ever have time to read a book ever again in my entire life (just a bit dramatic to say to someone, but okay), so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

Also, I've crossed over to the side that believes listening to a book is the same as reading it. It's better than watching TV, right?!

Anyway, on to the books! 

No One Knows by J.T. Ellison 

Plot: In an obsessive mystery as thrilling as The Girl on the Train and The Husband’s Secret, New York Times bestselling author J.T. Ellison will make you question every twist in her page-turning novel—and wonder which of her vividly drawn characters you should trust.

The day Aubrey Hamilton’s husband is declared dead by the state of Tennessee should bring closure so she can move on with her life. But Aubrey doesn’t want to move on; she wants Josh back. It’s been five years since he disappeared, since their blissfully happy marriage—they were happy, weren’t they?—screeched to a halt and Aubrey became the prime suspect in his disappearance. Five years of emptiness, solitude, loneliness, questions. Why didn’t Josh show up at his friend’s bachelor party? Was he murdered? Did he run away? And now, all this time later, who is the mysterious yet strangely familiar figure suddenly haunting her new life?

In No One Knows, Ellison expertly peels back the layers of a complex woman who is hiding dark secrets beneath her unassuming exterior. This masterful thriller for fans of Gillian Flynn, Liane Moriarty, and Paula Hawkins will pull readers into a you’ll-never-guess merry-go-round of danger and deception. Round and round and round it goes, where it stops…no one knows.
 -via goodreads 

My thoughts: I downloaded this book on a whim without knowing anything about it (something I never do) because I had an Audible credit about to expire and this was recommended based on my previous purchases. Funny enough, it ended up being about a girl married to a guy in med-school in Tennessee (that's where I'm from). It was fun to have so much in common with a main character in a mystery. 

Now...I base "shocking twists" in books on Gone Girl (SPOILER COMING) and when we find out she's really alive. When I got to that point in the book, which I was reading on my phone, it shocked me so much that I dropped my phone in my coffee. There was no phone-dropping with this one, but more of a "Okay, I see the twist coming. Wait...there's more to it? Oh, and more? Wait, again?" A bunch of little twists that spin the story around and around until you're finished with the book and you kind of understand how you got there, but it was quite the ride.

Should you read it? Yes. Goodreads is right in comparing this author to Gillian Flynn, Liane Moriarty, and Paula Hawkins. If you like mysteries, this one is worth a read. 

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Plot: "Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives. Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work,  embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion, Big Magic cracks open a world of wonder and joy." -via Goodreads

Favorite Quote(s): SO. MANY.

"So this, I believe, is the central question upon which all creative living hinges: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?" 

"“Recognizing that people's reactions don't belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you've created, terrific. If people ignore what you've created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you've created, don't sweat it. And what if people absolutely hate what you've created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest - as politely as you possibly can - that they go make their own (beep)ing art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.” 

My Thoughts: There's a John Green Quote that says, "Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.Big Magic is that book for me.

Reading it was a mix between being at a conference and hearing these great talks about creativity and having coffee with an encouraging friend and meeting with a therapist who already knew about all your inner turmoil. It touched me so much that I'm tearing up just writing this. Every other page I felt myself saying, "me too, me too, me too." If any part of your life involves any sort of creativity at all, please, please read this book. 

Should you read it: YES. 

What did you read this month?
 photo signature.png

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

We Bought a House!

I have the most exciting news (to me, anyway)...we bought a house!

I know I've alluded to it here and there, but I didn't want to talk about it until everything was for sure all set. With so many big life-events happening lately, I was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. With every form we filled out, I half-expected a phone call saying "Oh hello yes, it has come to our attention that you are not a real-life adult and you may not have this house." But somehow we actually are grownups, and we're set to close on Friday!

To say I'm excited about this is an incredibly large understatement. We took a packing break on Saturday to get some things from Target, where I picked out a rug and shower curtain for Jack, and later cried tears of actual joy over it. It may seem silly, but the thought of filling our own house with our own stuff...literally brings me to tears. 

I'm excited about everything, especially: 
  • Getting to hang up my clothes. We have the tiniest little closet right now, which means most of my clothes are in my dresser. I'm so excited to be able to hang my clothes where I can see them without having to unfold them! It's the little things. 
  • Having a separate laundry room. No more piling dirty clothes in front of the washer that happens to be at the foot of our bed!
  • Having a backyard! GUYS, I cannot wait to share pictures of the backyard. Serious perfection. Gatsby is not going to know what to do with himself. I cannot wait.
  • Jack having his own room. See also: Not having to avoid making noise while Jack naps.
  • Having somewhere to eat dinner that is not my lap. 
  • Having a desk again! Somewhere to write, and blog, and create. 
  • Paying a mortgage instead of rent. AKA, paying towards something each month for A WHOLE HOUSE instead of just giving the office downstairs most of my paycheck for a single room.
aaaand about a million other things. I can't wait to fill a house with things we love, to make a house into a home that reflects our life, and to cover it in bright colors and flowers and all things happy.

Life is good, you guys. It's pretty dang good.

Tell me something good that's going on in your life!
 photo signature.png

Monday, May 23, 2016

Do I Look Any Different?

Do I look any different than I did last time we talked? 


I don't know when that's going to get old. It's been three days and it's not old yet, so just bear with me. 

Graduation has come and gone, and the love of my life has finally achieved his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. A real, live, cut-people-open-and-sew-them-back-together doctor.

So, this is it. The end of a journey. The end of an era. The last post I will tag with medical school. Four years of hard work (that doesn't even do it justice) and here we are. 

I want to say that med school has been good to us, but I don't really think that's the case. Med school isn't really good to anyone. It's hard and it sucks and it's exhausting and isn't really good to any student, until you make it through it. 

But he made it through it, and I made it through the four years with him. 

So while I don't think med school was good to us, I think we were good to med school. We made the best of it. Christopher worked diligently and tirelessly at school and in the hospital and then would come home and force himself to stay awake long enough to hang out with me. We made the most of the rare days off, adventured when we could, spent money on fun stuff when we could, and ate ramen noodles when we had to. 

Chris zeroed in on his goals. He bought me a puppy and I learned to not be terrified of spending nights alone. We supported each other and pushed each other and loved each other through every good and bad day of the last four years.

Being married to a medical student is hard and exhausting and frustrating at times. But it has been an honor to stand with him over the last four years, and it is an honor to stand with him now, watching his greatest dream come true. 

One last thing: Life is weird and cool and strange and amazing. Four years ago, I never ever EVER would have imagined being a family of three at graduation. But sitting there, holding Jack while I was tearing up listening to the graduates read the hippocratic oath, I couldn't imagine it any other way. 
yeah, I'll just eat this real fast.

Goodbye, medical school. Thanks for all the lessons I'm not going to miss you. 

Onto the next four years! Team Jacobs forever. 
 photo signature.png

Thursday, May 19, 2016

On Creating.

I'm in the middle of reading listening to Big Magic and oh my goodness you guys, it's a must-read. I was listening to it while I was packing yesterday, and definitely cried just from the sheer fact of hearing someone so perfectly explain how I've felt pretty much my whole life. She talks about the relationship between creativity and fear and the need to create, to be writing. 

She writes, "I often don't know how I feel about something until I write about it." Yes, yes, yes. 

I love writing. I love words. I truly believe that words have the power to change the entire world. And sometimes, they do. Sometimes you write and the words you create touch someone deeply. Sometimes, they don't. Sometimes the words you write are just for you. But you have to keep creating. 

I think creating comes in all shapes and genres. It's not always artistic. I think that everyone has their one thing. The thing that breathes life into them, the thing they feel they were just made to do. For Chris, his one thing is surgery. He'll spend 18 hours on his feet and be covered in all sorts of awful gunk and come home feeling awake and ecstatic and alive (he's a lot like Christina Yang, y'all). 

For me, my one thing is writing. Writing everything. And because of that, I don't think my blog will ever fit into one little niche. I'm a mom now, so I need to write about that, but I don't want a mommy blog. I'm a wife, so I need to write about that, but I don't want a marriage blog. I'm moving, so I need to write about that, but heavens knows I'm not about to have a home decor blog.

I need to write about it all, because writing is my one thing. And much like Elizabeth Gilbert, I often don't know how I feel about something until I write about it. 

So I guess I just wanted to say: Create. Do your one thing. Do it without worrying if it is going to be life-changing. Do it without worrying that it doesn't fit the "brand" you're trying to have for yourself. Do it without wondering how many mistakes you're making. Do it without the pressure to be perfect, to create the next product that goes viral on Etsy, to write the post that gets shared thousands of times, to get promoted faster than anyone else. Just. Do. It. 

Write because you need to. Become a doctor because you need to. Paint because you need to. Run because you need to. Build because you need to. Go back to school because you need to. Create, create, create, create. 

Because you need to. 

What's your one thing? 
 photo signature.png

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Lies Everyone Tells Themselves.

I can stop drinking coffee cold turkey. It's the best way.

If I spend $300 at Whole Foods, I will easily lose weight. 

Staying up for two more episodes is fine. I won't be tired in the morning. 

These brand new shoes are the perfect thing to wear for this event that I will be on my feet for hours for. They won't hurt my feet at all. 
I'm going to save all of my money. Starting tomorrow, because I already bought coffee today. 
I'll remember this very important thing. I don't need to set a reminder for myself. 
If I spend all this money on this new planner, I will be more productive. 
Those two pushups I did that one time two weeks ago are definitely going to pay off.

I'll start ____ on Monday. 

I'll like this haircut more when I get home. 

What other lies to you tell yourself?
 photo signature.png

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

One Thousand, Three Hundred and Eighty Days.

One thousand, three hundred and eighty days ago, I was desperately trying to catch a plane from LA to Orlando. I had been in Los Angeles all week as a sponsor on a youth trip, but I was supposed to fly back Sunday morning because Chris' White Coat Ceremony was Monday morning.

What happened instead was something like 3 delayed flights, two canceled flights, twelve hours in an airport, and finally getting on a red-eye. I was so tired and ready to sleep, but I ended up in a middle seat between two obnoxious frat guys (Side note: The second they walked on the plane I just knew they were my seat partners. I have bad luck like that) and when I dozed off at first, I woke up to both of them trying to cuddle with my arms (umm, nope), so I didn't sleep after that. 

We made it to Orlando just in time for me to sprint to the parking lot, hop in Christopher's car, change on the way, and then sprint into the building so he could make it on time for the ceremony. 

Cute hair? Nah. Makeup? What's that? 

I'll be honest: It was a pretty boring ceremony for all those not getting their White Coats. There were so many speeches and questions and answers and it went on and on and on. But it's a day I'll never forget. Because at the end, they rolled out this giant chalkboard that said "Good Doctor" at the top. Then the dean asked everyone what they thought it took to be a good doctor. The answers ranged from compassionate to hard-working to endurance. The dean filled the chalkboard--that has stayed in the lobby of the med-school for the past 1,380 days--with at least a hundred answers. And I thought, Wow, Chris is actually all of these things. 

Up until that point, my poor, naive self had thought of med-school kind of like a Master's program. I didn't yet know all it would entail, didn't know how hard it was, didn't know the gravity of making a choice to be a doctor. That day, seeing all of those answers about what it takes to be a good doctor, and seeing Chris get his first white coat...I think that was the first day I imagined him as an actual doctor. 

I thought, wow, he's going to be a really good doctor. 

One thousand, three hundred and eighty days have passed since then. They've been full. Full of adventure and hard work and tough decisions and sleepless nights and new chapters and happy moments and tears and perseverance. And for him, they've been full of every single one of those answers that got written on that chalkboard. 

In three days, Chris will graduate and become a doctor. He'll get to see his dream become a reality. There will be no more one day, no more eventually. There will be graduation, and there will be Christopher, the love of my life, the doctor. 

The good doctor. 

To say I am excited is a massive understatement. Very rarely in life do we get such big moments that mark hard work and success, but Friday is one of those moments. 

If you need me, I'll be dancing around my apartment surrounded by moving boxes, somewhere between packing and procrastinating and celebrating the fact that sometimes, dreams really do come true. 

 photo signature.png

Monday, May 16, 2016

Back to Reality.

I spent the week in the most relaxing, beautiful, colorful place on earth. It was bright and kitschy and sunshiney and just perfection. 

Today, it's back to reality. I'm usually so sad when vacation is over. I tell Chris I have reentry depression and the only cure is to refuse to cook or clean or check my email or do anything remotely responsible for at least 48 hours. 

This time, though, is a little different. While I'm definitely sad to leave this view behind:

...I'm also excited to be back to reality. Because reality is that Chris graduates and becomes a doctor on FRIDAY. And then we'll be moving to Gainesville the next week. And I'm just so excited about both of those things that I can hardly stand it. 

I normally hate packing of any kind. H a t e  i t. With a passion. But this time, I'm so excited to fill up those boxes and load the uhaul and I'm even a little excited to-dare I say it-unpack those boxes. 

 It's partially because I can't wait to decorate my very own house with bright colors like I saw everywhere on vacation, but mostly it's because I just really love my life.

Sure, I'm not living my dream vacation right now..I have way too many responsibilities for that to be true. And honestly, until I can walk around like this 85 percent of the time, I don't think we can call it a dream vacation:

That being said, I love my life. I really, really love it. I love the direction it's going. I love where we're moving. I love the dreams I have for the next year. And I love the people I get to spend it with.

So while today may be full of wading through emails and making phone calls and packing instead of swinging in a hammock and watching the sunset, I'm still pretty happy. Because my life is dang good. 

May your Monday be full of strong coffee and nice people, and may your life be better than your vacation. 
 photo signature.png

Friday, May 13, 2016

Letters to Jack: 4 Months.


Today is a big deal for me. It marks one year since I found out you were going to be making your way into the world. We can easily call this the most life-changing year for me. 

When I found out about you (after spending $98 dollars on pregnancy tests just to be sure), I was so nervous and scared...I was worried that I wasn't ready, that I wouldn't know how to take care of you. I didn't know how you would fit into the life we had planned. 

Spoiler alert: You fit perfectly. 

A year ago, I woke up and drank coffee and watched Netflix, with zero ideas about how life was changing. Today, I woke up and fed you and snuggled you back to sleep. We're on vacation-see, all of my worries about fun things in life being over were just stupid-and we'll spend the day shopping and playing in the sun and swinging and admiring your sweet little baby giggles that you've been giving out more and more frequently. 

But for now, you're snuggled in next to me, wearing footie pajamas that have dinosaurs on your feet...the feet that you will spend all day trying to put in your mouth. You're sleeping, so peacefully, and you still smell like lavender from your nighttime lotion. Here I am, 365 days later, drinking my coffee in bed again, and here you are, much different than you were a year ago, but still the same little love. 

You have changed every single aspect of my life. So I guess I just wanted to say thank you for that. 

Happy one year of hanging out together, little man. You are everything I never knew I wanted, and I will love you for all of my forever.


 photo signature.png

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Things I Believe in This Week: Vacation Edition.

Coming at you today from a tropical little slice of paradise. Currently trying to find an excuse to never ever come home. In the meantime, here are a few things I believe in this week:
  • Taking vacations. Whenever and wherever. 
  • Buying giant pink flamingo floats, even if it doesn't seem like the most reasonable purchase.
  • That everyone should have a hammock.
  • That food tastes better when you're on vacation. Also: Calories do not exist on vacation. 
  • Sunshine is good for your soul. So are bright colors. 
  • That life is meant to be enjoyed. You should take every chance you get to enjoy life to the fullest.
What do you believe in this week?

 photo signature.png

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Let's Just Be Happy Today.

We all have good day and bad days. To pretend that life is only good, that it is only light and easy and stunning and happy, well, that's just stupid. Because it's not. It's hard sometimes. We all have days that feel never-ending and days that feel more like a vacation. Life is a mixture of ups and downs. 

I think there's a chance in every day to be happy. Sometimes that comes easily, and sometimes we have to go hunting for it. But it's there, always. So today, I think you should be happy. 

Grab a large sweet tea from Chick-Fil-A and stroll the aisle of Target and be happy. 

Read a book outside in the sunshine and be happy. 

Call up an old friend and meet for lunch and be happy. 

Curl up with a cup of coffee and your favorite blanket and be happy. 

Watch a movie and have popcorn and wine for dinner and be happy. 

Because, after all, if you live in a world were there is sweet tea and Target and books and sunshine and old friends and coffee and blankets movies and popcorn and could you not be happy? 

Wishing you a day full of happiness, wherever you may find it.
 photo signature.png

Monday, May 9, 2016

Mother's Day & Being Nice.

The things that people say on social media really shouldn't surprise me anymore, but yesterday, I was a little taken aback. 

Yesterday was my first time celebrating Mother's Day with a baby of my own. Last year on this day, actually becoming a mom was the farthest thing from my mind, even though there was already a little babe growing inside of me. This year, I got to wake up to a box of chocolates and a smiling baby and flowers and thought it was the best ever. Oh, what a year can change. It's so crazy to think about. 

Anyway, we all know that holidays of any kind bring out both the best and worst in people on the internet. Yesterday was no exception. There were sweet pictures of everyone with their mom, tributes written to mothers everywhere, and quick snapshots of memories of families at brunch. 

And then, of course, there were some...more strongly-worder posts. 

The ones like, "Celebrating Mother's Day by the pool in honor of avoiding getting pregnant for 27 years now! A baby would be such a life-ruiner."

Posts saying that choosing to not have kids is a selfish decision, and that your life is NOTHING without a baby. 

Posts like, "Celebrating Mother's Day so openly is so insensitive to those of us still trying to conceive. Please tone it down."

Or, "Wanna know what being a mom actually is? It's never having anything for yourself, always changing or cleaning or picking up something, and not even having the time to shower. It actually really sucks most days."

Clearly some people I follow had some pretty strong feelings about yesterday. 

We all get to have an opinion, of course. And we all get to share it, if we choose to. So here's mine, at a whopping three and a half months into being a mom.

Motherhood is: 
  • hard. 
  • adventurous. 
  • exciting. 
  • exhausting. 
  • an honor. 
  • something that can come in many different forms.
  • the best. 
  • messy. 

Motherhood is not: 
  • a death sentence. 
  • the end of enjoying your life. 
  • something that makes every other part of you cease to exist. 
  • boring. 
  • the only thing a woman can be good at. 

Motherhood can be: 
  • lonely. 
  • confusing.
  • something that takes awhile to come for some. 
  • overwhelming.
  • something that not everyone wants. 
  • a surprise. 
Motherhood is and isn't a lot of different things to different people. So goodness gracious, we should just all be nice about it. 

Before you say something about how much it sucks being a mom, think about how brokenhearted the girl who's been trying to become a mom for years is feeling. Before you say that life is devoid of meaning without kids, think about the couple who's decided having a baby isn't for them and are living a life full of meaning. Before you say getting pregnant is a life-ruiner, think about the girl who had a surprise baby (oh hi, it's me!) and actually thinks her life is pretty amazing. Before you say it's selfish to celebrate a day like yesterday, think about the girl who loves being a mom and just wants to celebrate that. 

If you have a kid, I think you are amazing. 
If you're trying to have a baby, even though it's turning out to be pretty hard, I think you are incredible. 
If you've decided having a baby of your own isn't what's best, I think you are wonderful. 

I just think you should be nice. We should all be a little bit nicer, don't you think?

Cheers to mothers and not-mothers everywhere. And cheers to kindness-so, so much kindness. 

 photo signature.png

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Feeling So Thankful For The Last Four Years.

GUYS. In fifteen days, Christopher will graduate from medical school. Two weeks from tomorrow, he becomes a doctor. A real life, actual, M.D. doctor.

I'm feeling a lot of the things I expected to be feeling: Relief that these four years are over, excitement for the next stage, sentimentality for the places we've gone and the people we've met over the last four years. But one thing I'm feeling that I didn't really expect is overwhelming thankfulness.

Thankful that we've made it through alive (just kidding) (but only a little bit), but also just thankful for the whole experience of the last four years. It's been really hard at times, but it is truly an honor to get to stand beside the one you love while they get to make their dreams happen.

Before now, I probably would have laughed (or actually just rolled my eyes) at anyone who said being married in medical school is hard. It's school, for goodness sake!

But it's not! Med-school is a full-time job, and full-time school, and boards, and tests, and studying, and surgery, and basically belonging to someone else for four years. All while finding the time to apply for residency and go on interviews and oh, that little thing called Match Day.

Save for the first semester, we were married for the entirety of med school, so I've had a front row seat to all of it. There have been hard days and easy days and exciting days and boring days. There were nights where I would both go to sleep and wake up before he finished a single shift at the hospital. So while old me may have rolled my eyes at you saying your husband is in med-school and it's hard, the four-years-later me wants to hug you and buy you a drink.

I feel like everyone can say they've grown up over the last four years, because four years is a really long time. But I've grown so much, both in ways I expected and in ways I didn't expect. In big, important ways, and in silly ways. For example: The first year of school, I would walk into a room where Chris was studying and see pictures of infected man-junk and scream because my poor little eyes were scarred for life. Now, a textbook can be left out open on a nasty infectious picture for days and my first reaction is, ugh, so much studying and not oh my gosh what is that awful picture get it OUT. See? Growing up leaps and bounds over here.

While I know I will always look back on these as some of the hardest years of my life, I also know they have been the best years of my life.

So cheers to the last four years. They made me a wife, they made me a mom, they made me a person I'm proud of, and they made Chris a doctor. And I am incredibly thankful for them.

 photo signature.png