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Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Fall with my Little Munchkin. AKA, The Season Where my Heart Explodes Daily.

Fall has always been my favorite (okay, next to Christmas), and looking back, I have loved fall so much during each season of my life. When I lived at home, fall was always fun. I get my love of fall from my mom. She's the Martha Stewart Beyonce of seasonal decorating. We always had the best decorations and traditions. 

Fall in college was so much fun. Going shopping for boots and plaid scarves, drinking entirely too many pumpkin spice lattes with my roommates (PS, did you know my very best friend is a girl who I got randomly roomed with in college? Thanks, life). 

Early married life fall was so much fun. We started our own traditions, like fall dates and our own personal Thanksgiving. Chris may not share my over-the-top love of fall, but he loves me, so over-the-top fall celebrations it was. So I've loved my lifetime of falls so far. Every one has been so much fun. But this year...

This year I can hardly even think about fall so far without getting emotional. (I'm a wimp, okay? Motherhood has made me weak). Because this year has been beyond perfect. 

This year, we have a house and a backyard and a cute little firepit, perfect for cozying up next to with a pumpkin coffee. This year, we live in this wonderful little town where Halloween is more about pumpkin patches and festivals than about going out and getting free shots. 

This year, I have this overwhelming feeling that we all know, though not nearly well enough. The feeling of, "Yes, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be." 

Logistically, this is not a perfect season. Chris is still in intern year and still works the most insane hours. In October, the month of all the fun Saturday events, he worked every single weekend. And I feel like the last two months have had their (un)fair share of sadness. But still, when I step back and look at this fall, it's absolutely perfect.

Because this year, we have Jack. 

Baby Jack, who is getting to experience fall for the first time. Jack, who loves pumpkins just as much as I do. Jack, who doesn't care that things aren't logically perfect. Jack, who's just the happiest little pumpkin there ever was. Who is an instant day-brightener and just full of love and curiousity. 

I am so, so tired. Yeah, I'm stressed out most days (working on it!) Sometimes I cry over nothing (again, weak). But at the end of the day, I am happy more than anything else. And I would call this little life of mine perfect. 

I've said it before and I'll probably say it a thousand more times: Not only is Jack everything I never knew I needed, he is everything I never knew I wanted. 

On Halloween night, Chris got off early enough to take Jack trick-or-treating. Our neighbor gave him a pack of M&M's, and he was so happy to just hold them and shake them. I thought about taking them away, but he was having the best time, and they were sealed, so what's the harm?

We got a few streets over and I turned the stroller around to take a picture of him...only to find him covered in blue. His face, his tongue, his hands, the top of his costume...all sticky and blue. This little sneak had chewed right through the package. 

I could have gotten irritated that he got his costume dirty blue before I could get a picture. I could have worried about how much sugar he might has ingested. But instead, I showed Chris, and we just laughed. 

Because this life is messy. But it is so, so good. 

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