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Monday, November 28, 2016

What a Year.

Time-hop is absolutely slaying me on a daily basis lately. 

A year ago, we were flying all over the country for interviews. We had zero idea about where we would end up. I was so pregnant. 

I remember being in Michigan for an interview, drinking hot chocolate and walking around shops, and this one shop was playing "There's No Place Like Home for The Holidays" and it made me cry  because I didn't know where home would be next year. 

When we got home, we decorated our tiny apartment for Christmas, talking about how next year, we'd have a baby with us and we'd be in a new home in a new city. We watched a Christmas movie and I threw up at least four times (Pregnancy did not agree with me, y'all). I remember going to sleep so happy that it was Christmas, but also very anxious because interviews were coming to an end and Jack's due date was coming up and I had never been so clueless as to what life was about to look like, and I hated that. I was worried we wouldn't have a home we loved as much as I loved our little apartment in the sky. I was worried we wouldn't have any friends. I was worried about what life would look like with a baby. I was worried I'd hate our new city. 

Saturday night we went to watch a football game on a big screen outside. It was cold enough to need blankets and there were Christmas decorations and it was so much fun. We were there with the friends we've made here, good friends. Friends who I can hand my baby to and not worry about it. It was a simple and laid back and casual way to spend a Saturday night. But this morning, it's making me cry. 

Because a year ago, I was so worried I'd never have a night like that. 

If you're going through a hard time or an unsure time, it's so important to stop and remember it won't last forever. And if you're at a place in life where things are working out and you're happy, it's so important to remember that you probably recently went through one of those times where you were sure nothing was going to work out. It's important to stop and breath and smile and be thankful and just let yourself feel happy. 

Life is not steady. It ebbs and flows and tosses you down and shoots you back up again. No one is on the up and up all the time, but no one stays down forever, either. 

Every day for the past few weeks I look at TimeHop and see where we were and remember the little adventures we had, just the two of us. Yes, I remember being an absolute ball of anxiety, but now those days are just sweet memories. 

If you're having one of those days or months or years where everything is just so hard and you don't know how things are going to work out and it's hard for you to trust that the best is yet to is, my friend. On the other side of an incredibly difficult and completely uncertain year, everything has worked out exactly as it was supposed to. 

Tonight, we're going to decorate for Christmas. We're going to pull out the tree and the lights and play the music and soak in every single second of our first Christmas with Jack, our first Christmas in our new house. 

I'm going to watch a Christmas movie and enjoy not being sick. I'm going to snuggle my baby and acknowledge that he was worth every single sick day. And I'm going to listen to "There's No Place Like Home for The Holidays" and be so, so thankful for the past year that brought me to this home, this season, this family. 

What a difference a year makes, yeah? 
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