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Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Things I Want to Believe in.

That people are good. Mostly, anyway. I think that the last few years (and maybe all of history) has proven that evil does exist, and sometimes it takes the form of people. But I want to believe that deep down, most people are good. Because as long as there are good people, things are hopeful. 

That there's room for everyone at the top. My friend Helene says this all the time. She's someone who has found major success in blogging, and every month or so she turns around and says, "hey, this is exactly how I did it!" Because she believes there's room for everyone at the top. If this is true, then there's no reason we shouldn't all be helping each other out along our way. There's no reason to feel sad when someone else reaches success, but instead, we should be reaching for the champagne to help them celebrate. That's a world I want to believe in.

That trying to raise good kids will somehow equal good kids. Being (mostly) solely responsible for what kind of human your baby grows up to be is terrifying. I want to believe that trying my best will mean that Jack grows up to be a decent human being, despite the fact that it feels like I have no idea what I'm doing 84% of the time.

That putting in the work is worth it. Most of the time, when Chris' residency comes up, people end the conversation with, "Don't worry, it will all be worth it one day." Usually, this is meant as encouragement, but sometimes, it is a (very thinly) veiled way of saying, "Hey, you'll have lots of money one day!" To me, there is no amount of money that makes up for what residency takes from you. Money will never make it worth it to me. What will, however, is that this is what Chris loves to do, and one day he will be done with training and it will just be his career, and he'll get to spend every day doing what he loves. 

I want to believe that about everything. That putting the work in to raise Jack will be worth it. That putting the time and effort into blogging and writing is worth it. That putting in the work to love and be kind and generous towards other people is worth it.

That love wins. My best friend sent me this song and the timeliness of it gave me goosebumps. It can be so hard to truly believe that love wins when hate seems so prevalent and, at times, so much stronger. I desperately want to believe that love conquers all and that it's what will win out in the end.

That chasing after your dreams is a worthy way to spend your timeI want to believe that every hour of sleep missed and every obnoxiously early alarm clock and every minute poured into getting you closer to your dreams is beyond worth it.

That life will still work out even if you make one (or seven or thirty-two) wrong decisions. My first week of college, I went to a chapel service for college students. The speaker was talking about how those years are so full of giant decisions and bring so much pressure. He said something I'll never forget: Do you honestly think God is so small, He will allow the course of your life to be derailed by you making one wrong decision? That if you pick the wrong major, that's it-no good future for you? Do you think that life really revolves around you that much? 

That will stay with me forever. I want to believe that the wrong choices I make (which I do, no matter how badly I wish I always chose the right thing) are not enough to derail any future success or happiness. 

What do you want to believe in?
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