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Monday, June 19, 2017

On Being Proud of Yourself.

I'm going to tell you the silliest, smallest thing that happened to me a few weeks ago that's made me think about being proud of yourself. 

I was getting ready to meet a friend for breakfast and was about to do my makeup. I saw myself in the mirror and thought, "Wow, my skin looks super good with no makeup today!

And then, almost before that thought was even complete, I thought, "Okay, calm down, you don't look that good." 

Because, for some reason, it's just ingrained in me that being proud of yourself, even about something as silly and superficial as a good skin day, is wrong. It's haughty and stuck up and no one likes that.

That is crap. 

So I started paying attention to it. And it popped up almost daily. 

I'll put Jack to bed and think, "I killed it at this whole mom thing today" and then almost immediately, my thought will turn into, "Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves. The house is falling apart and you kind of blew it on everything else so are you really killing it?

I'll do something well at work and think, "I'm awesome, I did such a great job at that" and then interrupt myself with, "No one else mentioned it, why are you congratulating yourself? Someone could probably do this better than you so shh.

Why is this a thing? 

I think a lot about how I want to raise my kid. And while I'm still pretty clueless on a lot of things, I know this: If every time Jack came to me to tell me he did something good, I responded with all the things he didn't do, or how he maybe did a good job, but he wasn't the best, eventually he would just stop coming to me. Eventually, he would just stop trying. I would never do that. I would want to celebrate the good he did do. So why can't I extend myself the same grace? 

I should. And so should you. 

You are amazing. No, you're not the best. There will always be someone somewhere in the world who is better at certain things than you are. Yes, you could be doing more. You could always be doing more. Sure, you'll probably always be behind on something. But so what? 

You are still amazing. And you should let yourself be proud of that. 

So next time being proud pops into your head, whether over something as simple as having a good hair day or as important as saving someone's life, keep it there. Shut up the voice that rushes up to interrupt you with anything but pride for yourself. 

Because you are amazing. And that is worth being proud of. 
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