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Thursday, March 8, 2018

Embrace the Glorious Mess That You Are.

Big Magic is one of my favorite books. There are very few books that I would consider "life-changing" in the literal sense, and this was one of them. I felt like Elizabeth Gilbert was talking directly to me the entire time, and the quote, "Embrace the glorious mess that you are" is one that will stay with me always. 

It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. About how we spend so much time trying to fix our mess of a self. Trying to make our mess look better, more acceptable. Trying to defend our mess. 

Y'all, I am nothing but mess. 

I rarely ever do my hair. It's frizzy and tangled most of the time. I call it "beachy" and hope no one notices I haven't brushed it for like six weeks. 

I have crazy levels of anxiety over stupid things. If a friend doesn't reply to two of my texts in a row, I will spend the day having chest pain over what imaginary thing I must have done. 

I don't handle high levels of stress well. I get overwhelmed and sometimes end up just sitting on the couch trying to catch my breath instead of paying attention to everything around me that needs to get done. 

I could go on and on. My nails are never done for more than a few hours. I take forever to respond to texts and emails. I often cry over criticism. I struggle deeply (and often out loud) with questions about my faith. I am messy. 

This is where we often feel the imaginary cue to jump in a defend ourselves. "I'm anxious BUT I'm a really good listener. I'm messy BUT I'm a really hard worker." No! I have messy hair AND I'm a really great friend. I'm a good mom AND I have hella anxiety. It's all me. All different sections and parts that make up the glorious mess that I am. 

Is there room for improvement? Good grief, most days I think there is only room for improvement. We could always be better. But I think there is a big, huge, massive difference between striving for improvement and cutting away at parts of ourselves that have no business being shaved down to nothing. There's a difference between wanting to be the best version of yourself and feeling like you have to hide all the parts of yourself that aren't quite up to par yet. There's a giant leap between wanting to be better and benching yourself from things like chasing your dreams because you think you aren't good enough yet. 

So let's not. Really, let's just not. It's as simple as that. 

I'm a mess. You're a mess. But it's a glorious mess. It's a mess that is you. No one else is made up of your mess, and that's kind of beautiful when you think about it. So embrace it. Live it. Put it out there. You are gloriously messy, but you are you. 

What's a part of your mess you need to work on embracing? 

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